dreaming

 ...that maybe time will never stop, that we could just stay in some moments forever.

 ...that we could just let things be and learn and love and not having to worry about anything (well the best part is when you learn to not worry by yourself)

...that life could be just as I want it to be, where I want it to be and who I want it to be with

...that this unforgettable time will never fade away and I will never forget the people I was turned into.



 Everyday I wish I could stay longer, and everyday I remember that everything happens for a reason...

And that I can make my own desicions and come back whenever I want and live as I want.

I don't want to lose everything I've gained and learned. It's way too important to me.

These moments, these people, these feelings are all I've ever wanted.


These aren't my last words, although time is running out. The best part of everything I've been through is knowing that the only person who got me through this was ME. I 've been through fights, namecalling, not fitting in, crying, feeling hopeless, and desperate, trying to make things work and want to give up when they don't... but all this brought me to be strong, optimistic, to throw the stress away somewhere outside of my head, to not worry about things before they happen, and learn - if I can solve it, why worry?, and if I can't, why bother feeling sad?

Minea in México is the first time I stopped being AFRAID of doing stuff. I was afraid of having problems with people and getting into fights and them not liking me. But now, what does it matter? I know who I am and I know where I've been, you know, and I think that's all that matters in this moment.

I know what I want to do in one year. Where I wanna be. And the only person who can make this possible is me. Thank you México for showing it to me : )

Hugs&Kisses,

Minea xox 

estar contigo es como tocar el cielo con las manos,

como sólo un primer día en verano, como en un cuento...

yo siento que tu compañía es el mejor regalo que me dio la vida,
la fuerza que me empuja a seguir adelante...
de todo lo que tengo es lo más importante
estar contigo es como un sueño de que no quiero despertar
si abro los ojos y no estás

vivir contigo es mi deseo, es todo lo que quiero hacer

porque a tu lado puedo ser sólo yo misma...

solamente quiero que seas tú

‎"A year has (almost) passed and now we stand on the brink, of returning to a world where we are surrounded by the paradox of everything and yet nothing being the same.

In a couple of weeks we will reluctantly give our hugs and, fighting the tears,we will say goodbye to people who were once just names on a sheet of paper to return to people that we hugged and fought tears to say goodbye to before we ever left.
We will leave our best friends to return to our best friends.
We will go back to the places we came from, and go back to the same things we did last summer and every summer before.
We will come into town on that same familiar road, and even though it has been months, it will seem like only yesterday.
As you walk into your old bedroom, every emotion will pass through you as you reflect on the way your life has changed and the person you have become.
You suddenly realize that the things that were most important to you a year ago don't seem to matter so much anymore, and the things you hold highest now, no one at home will completely understand.
Who will you call first?
What will you do your first weekend home with your friends?
Where are you going to work?
Who will be at the party Saturday night?
What has everyone been up to in the past few months?
Who from school will you keep in touch with?
How long before you actually start missing people barging in without calling or knocking?
Then you start to realize how much things have changed, and you realize the hardest part of being an exchange student is balancing the two(/three) completely different worlds you now live in, trying desperately to hold on to everything all the while trying to figure out what you have to leave behind.
We now know the meaning of true friendship.
We know who we have kept in touch with over the past year and who we hold dearest to our hearts.
We've left our worlds to deal with the real world.
We've had our hearts broken, we've fallen in love, we've helped our best friends overcome eating disorders, depression, stress, and death. We've lit candles at the grotto and we've stayed up all night on the phone just to talk to a friend in need.
There have been times when we've felt so helpless being hours away from home when we know our families or friends needed us the most, and there are times when we know we have made a difference.
Just weeks from now we will leave :(
Just weeks from now we take down our pictures, and pack up our clothes.
No more going next door to do nothing for hours on end. We will leave our friends whose random e-mails and phone calls will bring us to laughter and tears this summer, and hopefully years to come.
We will take our memories and dreams and put them away for now, saving them for our return to this world.
Just weeks from now we will arrive.
Just weeks from now we will unpack our bags and have dinner with our families. We will drive over to our best friend's house and do nothing for hours on end.
We will return to the same friends whose random emails and phone calls have brought us to laughter and tears over the year.
We will unpack old dreams and memories that have been put away for the past year.
In just weeks we will dig deep inside to find the strength and conviction to adjust to change and still keep each other close.
And somehow, in some way, we will find our place between these two worlds.
In just weeks.
Are you ready?"

...NO I AM NOT FUCKING READY

I NEED MORE TIME MORE PEOPLE MORE EXPERIENCES

I NEED THIS PLACE I NEED THIS EXPERIENCE

I NEED THIS HAPPINESS

OH MY FUCKING GOD............

...

...
fuck it, let's just enjoy what we have !!

 

(please notice the beer in my hand hahahahah)

8,5 months

I can't believe I am running out of time. 2 months, 8 weeks, too little days.. What has my year been full of so far??

...other exchange students..

...going to school (yayy)...

...doing family stuff...

...changing myself...

...travelling/experiencing new things...

...parties...

...and so, so much more. I think leaving here will be the biggest heartbreak of my life :( I DON'T WANT TO GOOOOOOOOO I'm loving it way too much, everybody I meet, everything I do, eat, experience, try, everything changes the person I am for the best. It sucks to even think is such a little time I hve to leave it all behind...

...the good thing is it won't be for a long time ;)

todo cambió cuando te vi

de blanco y negro a color me converí

y fue tan facil quererte tanto

algo que no imaginaba

fue entrergarte mi amor en una mirada..

todo cambió dentro de mí,

el universo escribió que fueras para mí

ciegamente paso, y todo tuyo ya soy

antes que pase más tiempo contigo mi amor,

tengo que decir que eres el amor de mi vida,

antes que te ame más, escucha por favor,

déjame decir que todo te di..

y no hay cómo explicar para menos si no estás,

simplementi así lo senti cuando te ví...

PICSPAm

I might be crazy, but I thought it would be fun to try this ! All this is with the theme of my past 7 months in México, obviously. (Or well I tried my best..) Here goes !

Day 01 - A picture of yourself with fifteen facts.

1. I don't have that piercing anymore :(
2. I am currently at Tuxtla Gutierrez at my hostsister Pamela's house, it's 8.30 am and everybody else is sleeping
3. I love my new hostfamily - my mom is really fun, my dad is crazy, my hostsisters are awesome and I've met a bunch of aunts, cousins, uncles and who knows what
4. Eversince I became a redhead people recognize me even easier than before..
5. which I thought was impossible since there aren't many tall redheads living anywhere near
6. Yesterday we went 7 people (me, my mom, my two sisters, two friends & Pamela's boyfriend) in a 5 people car, so naturally someone had to go on top of others, and they chose me
7. It was the strangest feeling ever since I've lived so many years being always "the biggest" and now I was.. normal?
8. that's all thanks to the weight I've lost here
9. ...who the fuck loses weight with all this Mexican food???
10. I love Chiapas (the state I'm in right now, it's next to Oaxaca)
12. and in general getting to know more of México
13. Right now, all I can think about is the autumn of 2013 when I am supposed to enter the UMAR in Puerto Ángel
14. my life should be: study, party, beach
15. i'm in loveeeee ♥ (with the thought of that future ofc !)

Day 02 - A picture of you and someone you've been close to for a long time.

I don't have many people like that hehehh.. so I chose my sisters.

Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show.

Day 04 - A picture of favorite missed memory.

I learned not to miss memories! But this was a happy moment.

Day 05 - A picture of you and the person you've had the best memories with.

Day 06 - A picture of someone you’d love to trade places with for a day.

Nobody =) I'm perfectly happy being who I am, everyday of my life.

Day 07 - A picture of you and someone you'd be lost without .

Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh.

Everytime at class..

Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.

If you know what I mean =)

Day 10 - A picture of your favorite sport or favorite athlete.

Day 11 - A picture of something you hate.

Day 12 - A picture of something you love.

Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist.

Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.

Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die.

Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you.

Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently.

I can't really explain this.. go to Puerto Escondido and you will get it too.

Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity.

The weight you lose doesn't shake off your thoughts, as in it is pretty hard to change your way of seeing yourself, no matter how much you weigh. But this really isn't a problem, I haven't had confidence problems in ages, but would feel pretty stupid writing "oh I don't have ANY insecurities!!"

Day 19 - A picture of you when you were little.

Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you’d love to travel.

Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget.

Like I would post pictures of that.. :(

Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at.

Yeah.. I'm not much of a singer.

Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book.

Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change.

Day 25 - A picture of your day.

Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you.

Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member.

Day 28 - A picture of something you’re afraid of.

Day 29 - A picture of someone that can always make you smile.

Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss.

I've gotta go now, I hope you enjoyed this meme hehh, for the rest I'm doing really good, I hope you guys are too!

Besos&abrazoz

Minea

PUMP IT!

I'm gonna tell you about the coolest thing of my exchange year.

I feel like I used to have a lot of problems. Just a bunch of stupid things I kept carrying with me for no good reason. I guess sometimes I kinda thought that being sad was somehow "cool" - I mean, you get attention, everybody sees you like a hero if you survive much pain, etc etc. Stupid stuff like that. I considered my last year, the first year of high school as the best year of my life, well, up until I got here, right... hehe. But I know that deep down I was ignoring what was really there, something kinda misty that needed to be resolved.

When I got here, it kinda exploted all. Being forced to a whole new EVERYTHING basically left me all alone - all that could help me were my own thoughts and attitude. And well, when all that's left is your personality, you get to see pretty well all the flaws you have. Especially now that time has passed, I can see clearly what I've been doing the last years, and why I've been acting as I acted. I don't feel the need to think or act that way anymore, which is pretty cool, gotta admit it.
But I guess I've always known I'm sort of 'special', now I see really well why I never got used to living in Finland, why I've always wanted something MORE. So I just want to talk a little about silly Mexican stuff that I think is cute and cool and.. well, just plain different. Getting to experience all of this stuff is pretty damn awesome.

I already talked about food.. something that I really like is the way people communicate. For example, I live in a small town - everybody knows me. And I do mean EVERYBODY. Since Mexicans have a habit of being "chismosas" (=they have a pretty big mouth at times.. hehh) I don't even wanna know what stuff they talk about me.. So anyways, when I meet new people, usually their reaction is "oh yeah I've seen you at __ with __ and you were wearing ___". Creepy..... but anyways, we always end up talking about who knows what (and actually I never get bored when people ask "What's Finland like! What does snow feel like! How do you live in the cold!"). The people are really open and friendly and NICE and it's so easy to talk to them about basically everything. Of course I've gotta be careful what I say to who but oh well ;) anyways, the people are super nice. I think I've never felt as comftrable around people as I do know. I still remember how everything was more complicated in Finland, or I felt like I needed to "hide" parts of my personality - I've always been loud, I laugh a lot, I like physical contact etc., and this stuff is more normal and acceptable in México than I feel it never was to me in Finland. Here we laugh and scream and joke all day all night, which is super cool, something I think I've kinda been missing on. To just be yourself and know you will be accepted as you are, no matter who you're with.

yes, I am a giant...

I really like the Mexican culture and the people and could write all day long about them. But I guess I could talk about some little differences I've noticed. Boring or not but it's all a part of the experiene no..

First of all, there are absolutely no traffic lights. Instead, there are these silly bumps in the road that make the cars go slower as they pass them by. This basically means that there's no unnecessary waiting at the traffic in the red lights, you can just go and drive as you wish and slow down at these bumps. The bus trips are absolutely crazy, you basically bump up&down all the time. But I know it's something I will really miss!!

Second of all, people. Don't. Recycle. EVER. This is a real heartbreaker. All the trash ends up in one plastic bag which you throw in your yard/garage/wherever and wait for the truck to pass by. It comes really early, like 8am, and you have to hand the trash over to them, and they put them all into one huge mountain of trash. :((( there's really no chance to start recycling, which sucks, since everything has a lot of plastic - in the supermarkets there are people working as "baggers", and they might put just 2-3 items in one bag, so people leave the place with a bunch of plastic bags when it wouldn't be really necessary.. oh well, what can one do though..
The stoves work with gas - or you light them with a match or you press some buttons and they light up. The gas car also passes by and the men are knocking on the barrels so you know that they're coming. Then you just open your door and ask for gas. Simple right?
There's also no clean water, you need to buy those barrels of 20litres. Also sold by cars (and sometimes some little shops).

Of course I live in the South, this may be really different in the Northern part, who knows. Anyways, I'm falling in love with this place. Honestly, there are so many places to go, things to see, people to meet, and.. I don't know, it's so easy to just be happy. I think I'm gonna stay here. One of the reasons I even wanted to go on exchange was to see if maybe there's a place that feels more like home, and I think I found it!! So yeah, that IS the coolest thing that could've happened to me. Forget the places and the people, discovering (or more like creating) who you are is the coolest thing in the world.

Thank you México for all these crazy adventures, and it's not over yet (y)

This is what I looked like with other exchange students 6,5 months ago.

This is what I looked like with other exchange students 1 mont ago.

Friends :--) (los quiero mucho)

And that's me (quelle suprise!!).

I don't if this post had a point :D I just wanted to write about this stuff, it feels important to me right now. After the first rough mounts I finally did start living my life as I wanted to, and it makes me happy. I've learned and grown so much it's hard to recognize the girl I used to be. Now I'm redder (hahah), thinner, more confident, more "street smart" I guess, more.. I don't know. More.. a lot of stuff. And I'm happy, since I still think if I would've stayed in Finland, I'd still be living as I used to be. Kinda broken inside I guess. But now it's all gone and I can just be here and ENJOY :) thank you México you are a lifesaver !

Peace&love,

Minea