So my big sister Sofia wrote in her blog Propane Nightmares about the phaises she had gone through when she was younger. Since she's almost 20, she had a whole bunch of photos when she was 14, 15, 17, 18... and since I am only 16, I know I haven't got a lot behind me, but a really weird thought stroke me today.
I was listening to LMFAO (my new-found love, also thanks to my big sis ♥) and I started browsing through this internet site and there were people talking about relationships and dating and stuff like this. You know, they were saying how they feel insicure and no one could ever love them because they're this and this etc., and some older people said to them don't worry because they used to be unpopular too. It's cool that they support eachother, but it got me thinking about a whole bunch of stuff.
Basically I have this really stupid theory - teens can be seperated in two groups. I don't like to label people (my gosh, who does?), but to me, it's pretty clear wherever I go. There's the group of so called "party people" who are vivid and social and laugh a lot and party and do crazy stuff, and there's the group who... well, simply doesn't. They're calmer and more serene and focus on other stuff than going wild and crazy and partying and stuff like that. And when I was 13, I was a definite member of the second group - I never bought new clothes or cut my hair since I thought it was only for the shallow people, I never went out with my friends and I thought I was better than the people who got wild every single weekend and told stories about what they did when they were drunk. Then I went to another school and I started noticing that the line between these two groups is pretty obvious. And in my new juniour high, you had to make a pick.
So I guess I spent a lot of time trying to figure out which I was. I've always been social and open and laughing a lot, but I also had a whole bunch of quieter friends (nothing wrong with that) and I liked to read and write and do that kind of stuff. So I had some troubles, up until the end of 9th grade, to figure out which I was. I fell into the middle, like many people probably do, but I felt like the preassure (which no one threw on me intentionally, I'm sure) was getting pretty rough. I felt like if I went to parties and talked to the popular kids, I was dissapointing my friends who were more withdrawn. But I had this huge craving to be a girl that everybody loved - but I still didn't know. So I guess 9th grade was pretty confusing for me.
Now I'm in an all new high school and I'm loving it, and to be honest, I think I've fallen perfectly to the wilder group. I'm known as one of the most social people of my school, I throw parties and go to some almost every Friday (Fridays without parties or being social are definitely more rare) and I have tons of fun in school. I do drink, yeah, but I rarely go overboard (and when I do, it's a pure accident). I smoke sometimes and I do flirt a lot, so I guess some people would call me, I don't know, popular? It's not that it matters, but I kinda figured out only recently that life is not about finding yourself - it's about creating yourself.
So anyway, listening to LMFAO and reading those posts just got me thinking about my past. I think when I was 13 it was really rough because my class was kidna falling apart and I felt like a social outcast, though I did have friends too. Now nothing can stop me, I'm a total social addict, I love to party, I go crazy, I laugh, I enjoy life by everything I can and it's great. I can't wait to see what the future brings me. México, I hope you're ready for me!