what i figured out was i needed more time to figure you out

there's not a lot for you to give if you're giving in
and there's not a lot for you to feel if you're not feeling it

I'm pretty sure everybody goes through hell as teenagers :D but later on, luckily we can look back and the memories will surely provide us a good chuckle now and then...

I got to thinking how much I've changed. Especially last year.

...yeah, I'm pretty sure no one would recognize me now.

But I guess that's our job as teenagers, to grow and learn and sort our lives out. We absorb the world we walk in as a part of our personality, and we make choices that make us who we are, that separate us from the other living creatures and human beings. Life, so simply, isn't about "finding yourself". To me, atleast, my life, especially last year, has always been about creating yourself.

So, to have a little laugh (or blush from the embarrassment, who knows), I decided not only to see some old pics, but to also to SHARE THEM. I know, I must be crazy, but let's face it - my craziness and my personality have formed a part of who I am for the last years I've been building it : ) enjoy!! (Or not. Seriously, that's up to you :D)

Forget the hair color, the clothes, the weightloss. Those are just the changes you can actually, physically, see.

But it only tells half the story.

I probably don't have to dig this any deeper, I'm pretty sure everyone knows what I'm talking about : ) my simple life's philosophy is to stay true to myself (yet another cliché, what's wrong with me??), and I think that only happens through self-expression and acknowledging stuff. I need to understand that whatever things that have happened, only happened because of some weird reason, and the person I am now doesn't have to be the prisoner of that stuff. I mean, life is forever changing - I need to feel everyday being different than the day before that, and the day before that, and so on.

I don't feel ashamed, luckily, mostly I'm just proud to have gone such a long way. Yay, I'm finally a redhead, expressing myself much better (also through clothes yay), I no longer settle for less than I deserve, and yes I achieved normal weight and health. That's pretty much all I need, and achieving that was definitely worth the race!!

Take care,
Minea xx

(p.s. muhahahahahaha)


i was either born in love or never have been so

"o nací enamorado
o, en verdad, nunca lo he estado"

(no es que no crea en el amor, simplemente así soy)


We could all sit for hours just talking and sharing our experiences - after all, everybody has a totally different point of view in life. Nobody thinks exactly alike when it comes to the big questions of life. The experiences a person lives through ultimately change their view of the world - especially on that big, constantly repeated word, "love".

A person's complete history of love has so many different emotions in it that letting it all out would be, basically, impossible (there's not enough time in the world!!). Love comes in so many different forms, I mean, there's the unconditional love you get from your pet (especially from a dog), the inspirational love you get from your different muses (artist will know tehee), the love that comes through the feeling of being accepted for who you are with friends and the, well, you know, relationship-love. Partnership-love. The marriage and babies and house at beach, that sort of love. But it's a common mistake to think that only through a stable relationship could we receive love. That if we have not yet found our "other half", basically we just wonder on the surface of this planet with no real goal. Lost and left alone. Why is this so commonly thought???

Simple - all other feelings of love, besides the "let's be together for the rest of our lives" -kind, are simply invisible to most of us. Most feelings we just take for granted. Remember the love of your dog? We think it's an absolute truth the dog will always be on the porch waiting for us, ready to give us affection whenever we need it. Or that we don't need to call our sisters/brothers/parents/closest friends etc. because they'll always be on our side. This doesn't mean we appreciate them any less - it just tells us how that love, the everyday love, becomes so natural to us that we can just close our eyes and know it doesn't disappear.

But there's one love that conquers all others by far, atleast in my opinion. The simple love of life.

I mean, let's think a little. If we don't love life, if we don't wake up with even the slightest feeling of joy of having woken up, if we just live through each day running like crazy to reach yet another meaningless goal - who are we? Did all those billions of years of evolution lead to societies where the people live like machines? Where life is only fulfilling when we have something to rub into each other's faces, bragging?

I know we've all heard billions of sayings, lyrics and poems about life and love and how they go along in the bliss of the moment, but it still feels like many people are missing on so much. They become ignorant to what is surrounding them. They start taking things for granted (like the loves I mentioned) and time gets the best of them. It's so sad to see people who watch their life pass by. (I'm not saying that if you don't bunjee-jump or climb mountains everyday you're unhappy, don't get me wrong, I'm sure every single person knows what is the trigger that makes them, in particular, to enjoy their lives. I'm talking about the feeling when you know you're just not enjoying anymore.)

Simply: how can you love or even have some kind of strong feelings towards anything if you lose the love for just being alive?

I mean, for example yes, relationships can be awesome, and for the people who are capable of holding on to a good one, good for you!!, but in my opinion there's so much more in life to discover as well. We're not babies anymore, we can experience the world outside of the lap of a loved one, and people shouldn't see the ones with more interest to do so as unhappier people. Everyone can define what factors make them happy and how they remember to wake up smiling. So what if we can't find happiness in the arms of another person like others might. Some people are just built like that. We just have to acknowledge what feelings we possess and what can we share with the world. This does not make us less meaningful or failures to humankind.

Or, atleast, I don't think so. But as I said, everybody thinks differently, since there aren't two identical histories of love.

"I was either born in love or never have been so - it's not that I don't believe in love, that's simply just me." División Minúsucla said it all in a shorter way :D I hope you enjoyed this and understood what I was saying. If you want to share experiences/comment/whatever, feel free to do so. This was a little piece of the complicated brain only an almost 18-year-old could have..

Minea xx

("2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song,
if I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,

threatening the life it belongs to

And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd,
'cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
and I know that you'll use them however you want to

But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
and life's like an hourglass glued to the table


not all those who wander are lost

I feel... lost.

But it may not be a bad thing. It just means I have to find happiness all over again:) and if I did it on the other side of the Ocean, I can do it anywhere!!

happiness hit her like a train on a track