"You've been to Asia and Africa? Honestly? I've never left my country."
"What's it like in an airplane?"
"It's so cool to talk to you, I've never met anyone from another country!"
Because I was born in Finland, yes, I've studied manymany languages in school.
Because I was born in Europe, my family has money to travel to the other side of the world, and back.
Because I am North European, of course I've been to an airplane, who here hasn't?
It is unfair. Just because I was born in Europe I can do all this. And just because my friends weren't, they can't.
Why does the place where we born give us such limits? Why do people have to have different opportunities in life just because of where they were born? Nobody chooses to be born somewhere. It... just happens(?). And still I feel like I've been so priviledged, I have seen many places, I've done many things, I've bought stuff most of my friends have never heard of.. and wherever I go, I always have the label in my forehead. European. Rich. Has opportunities most people only dream of. Has to work 10 times less to reach the same goals.
Sometimes, some people (not everyone, of course not) treat me differently because of my roots. There are people who think it's the greatest thing ever and who come to me saying how jealous they are of everything I've been able to do and learn and see. Wishing they'd had the chance to do the same. I don't know how I should react to this, when we finish doing homework and my friends start speaking, 'why are there people in this country who get to eat whatever they want, but we have to eat the same food from yesterday for breakfast'. What can I say, except that I will never know what it means to be poor like that? (Poor in money, rich in culture, why does it have to be this way?) That just because I was born in Finland I can, no matter if I will or not?
That's the thing. I can't even explain how complicated and torn I feel. I know that I am one of the very few ones in this world who have the chance to do what I want, or even choose to do aboslutely nothing and still survive through the day. But why me? What did I ever do to 'deserve' the title of being European and surrounded by opportunities? My point here isn't saying that Europeans are the best and everyone else sucks, I hope you get what I'm saying. I just think it's unfair that I've met the most beautiful people of this world here, who still will never have the same opportunities as me, no matter how much they work for them.
Yes, I am lucky. But why? Why me? Why us? Why does it have to be this way? My head is just.. really confused. Wherever I go, I'll always be the blonde, the tall one, the European, when all I want is to fit in, to feel Mexican. Thanks to the people I do, but still there are things I will never truly understand. Just because I was born in Europe.
Thinking of this world makes my head spin. I have no idea what to say anymore. I hate racism, that's the main thing on my mind, I guess. Probably... but I love it here. That's the number one thing in my mind, the only feeling in my heart that matters. Don't worry:) (if this post brought ANY thoughts into your head, please share them with me, I'd love to hear what you guys think too. Am I alone with this?)
and there's gold
falling from the ceiling
from this world
(but who decides who gets to catch it?)