everytime we hear the whole word passing by i know that we're not crazy

(via Sara)

we spend all our time lying side by side
going nowhere, it's really something
gettin' busy doing nothing

We spend all our time running for our lives
going nowhere, it's really something
gettin' busy doing nothing

It's been a while that I actually wrote something here, so let's give it a shot!

A few weeks ago I had the first orientation of AFS about the exchange year, and ksdsfjkjsd it was so exciting !!!!!! after it I just felt like dying because I still have so many days (89) left here. It feels like too many mornings are still remanining, like too many days are left before I can just pick up everything and go. It's so funny, 'cause in reality there are so many things in my life that I want to keep close to me (friends, freedom, boyfriend), but then so many things are pushing me more and more away from Finland (not fitting in, cultural differences, temperament) so.. I wish I could keep the people I have now, but in some place else, but I guess I've just got to keep my head high and continue along the road and try to find new people and new adventures. :) I've been talking a lot with my boyfriend about this and it feels so weird that his life will continue the same, minus me.. it's the same thing in all my relationships. They still go to school or work, go partying in the weekends, shop at the centre and eat ice cream when it's warm. They talk about the same(?) things and laugh in the same way and are as close as ever, just without me.

But you know what, fuck it ! It's a sacrifice I know I'll have to make and that I truly am ready to make. I've been thinking about my exchange year, new experiences, new language and all new way of living since I was... oh god, 13? And I made a promise to myself, no matter what happens, I'm not giving it all away. Everything I have here is enough for me now, but I still want more, I want to see what I can do and what I can handle and who I can meet and... my thoughts are a pretty big mess now, I know I just want to _leave____already. Get me outta here please!!!!

Maybe I'm a bit too dramatic :D honestly, I love my life, I love my friends, I love my school, I love my family, I love my boyfriend (♥). I make it here. But I want more. I want to meet people who aren't afraid of touching and letting people in, I wanna be happy when the country I live in wins in a sport, I want to live somewhere and be proud of it... to me it's such a weird thought to be proud of being Finnish. There's not one Finnish bone in my body, This culture, this country is simply not for me. So I want (need) to find out what is. What's there waiting. What will I find. So we'll see how everything goes ;)

- Minea

weekends in bed, no scramble eggs, or bacon
i just have time for you
backs on the grass, heads in the clouds, we closed our eyes
enjoy the view