11/04/2011
03/04/2011
sun goes down along with you
For two years I've been reducing meat, chicken & fish and about 8 months ago I gave them up completely. Not eating any of the three became a huge part of my personality pretty quickly, it was a way to express my love for non-violence, peace &harmony. But now... I leave to México in 4,5 months and there I have no choice, I HAVE to eat meat. I've been speaking to natives and locals and they say that meat is a regular part of the Mexican diet. But even if it wasn't, going to live to another family and refusing to eat what they cook or demanding them to cook differently for me is something I don't want to do. So... today was the first time I tasted meat again, I had turkey and... I don't even know anymore.
I hate the taste of meat, I hate the texture of meat, I hate the whole fucking idea of eating something that has lived for nothing else but ending up on my plate... I hate the way the animals are treated and how the meat industry packs it full of extras and grease and salt and sugar and everything... I hate the whole idea of eating something that was once alive, and that its life was taken away just so I could eat it. And... I don't know if I'm making too much of a deal out of this, but I feel like something important's been stolen from me. Like eating turkey would mean that I'm swallowing all my opinions and values with it, like nothing matters anymore. Sucks, right?
I've just gotta keep my head up and remember that forcing myself to eat meat for the sake of respect to the (still non-existing) family will take time and it doesn't change who I am, but... when something so big changes, it takes a while before I can adapt to it. That it's OK to eat meat, especially in México where most of the animals have lived free. But now I'm still only getting used to it and it's much much harder than expected. But, it'll come around... I don't know, do you guys have anything you've had to given up for different reasons? I wish I could talk to someone who knows what I'm going through. :D right now I feel everytime I swallow a chuck of meat I swallow a part of myself along with it.
i hope you feel the way i do
i hope you give yourself up too
i meant to give myself up too
what have i done to fall so hard for you
13/03/2011
here's the situation, i've been to every nation
I should probably post stuff more often here :--D but lately all kinds of stuff's been happening and I just haven't really felt like writing about it. I sometimes feel like I am sleeping and my life passes by my eyes, like I may catch myself wandering around my school's hallways without looking anywhere and just... walking. But it's kinda cool in some way :D sleepwalking. Nice.
Anyway, yeah, SCHOOL's my main problem right now. Or not school, but my motivation, which... well, I have _none_ of. I don't know what happened!! When I started high school I was superexcited, I met some really awesome people and laughed all day everyday. In Autumn I felt like I was 100% accepted and liked and it felt really good. Now, I don't think I'm not liked or unwanted on whatever, but I'm most definitely not as excited about school anymore as I once was. :p plus I quit football. I feel kinda sad 'cause I would've wanted to continue, but the game season starts pretty soon and I am definitely not ready, I don't master the moves and basically I suck so bad that the thought of going into rehersals gave me more anxiety than anything else... Although I liked the fact that it gave me more muscle & stamina and stuff, well, I don't think it's the best way to motivate myself to continue a sport...
Plus it definitely felt weird that everyone else was around 20 and up. Not the age difference, that's ok, but the fact that they were all... Finnish. I know it sounds weird, but lately I've really, and I mean really been noticing how I don't belong here, this culture is so far away from my lifestyle, the values and thoughts are something I cannot understand and the amount of alcohol people need to reach a level of accepting themselves is... fine for them, but not for me. I just don't feel at home here. I am definitely more Italian than Finnish and I hate it when something happens or I get into an argument to listen those never-ending accusations. "How can you be so mad? Chill!" "Honestly, you need to calm down, nothing's happened." "Dude chill, don't be so mad!" GAHAAHHHH just because I react to things with emotions doesn't mean I'm mad!! THAT's the easiest way of making me mad. I read somewhere that a bit like transgendered people, bilingual kids end up "choosing" which language and culture they feel is their "one and actual" way of life. And I've felt for a long long time now that this is not my home and one and actual way of living... well, I just have to be here for 5½ months, then I'm off to Mexico and in two years when I finish high school I'm off to explore the world. I need new languages, cultures, people, everything. My worst fear is being stuck here for the rest of my life.
:) oh well. It happens. Anyway, I realized I never made a post about Hong Kong!!! So here goes, I hope you like travel photos as much as I do...
the skyscrapers reached... well, the sky!!
The view at Victoria Peak was amazing... reminded me of Marseille (= ♥♥)
LOOK at the city view!!!!
there's the essence of bad and good.. and vice versa :)
we went to see a huge Buddha...
...with these!!
that's me (hahaha the climate ruined my hair :D:d)
me & my sister Sofia ♥
I dipped my toes into the Pacific Ocean ♥ felt incredible
Anyway, yeah, SCHOOL's my main problem right now. Or not school, but my motivation, which... well, I have _none_ of. I don't know what happened!! When I started high school I was superexcited, I met some really awesome people and laughed all day everyday. In Autumn I felt like I was 100% accepted and liked and it felt really good. Now, I don't think I'm not liked or unwanted on whatever, but I'm most definitely not as excited about school anymore as I once was. :p plus I quit football. I feel kinda sad 'cause I would've wanted to continue, but the game season starts pretty soon and I am definitely not ready, I don't master the moves and basically I suck so bad that the thought of going into rehersals gave me more anxiety than anything else... Although I liked the fact that it gave me more muscle & stamina and stuff, well, I don't think it's the best way to motivate myself to continue a sport...
Plus it definitely felt weird that everyone else was around 20 and up. Not the age difference, that's ok, but the fact that they were all... Finnish. I know it sounds weird, but lately I've really, and I mean really been noticing how I don't belong here, this culture is so far away from my lifestyle, the values and thoughts are something I cannot understand and the amount of alcohol people need to reach a level of accepting themselves is... fine for them, but not for me. I just don't feel at home here. I am definitely more Italian than Finnish and I hate it when something happens or I get into an argument to listen those never-ending accusations. "How can you be so mad? Chill!" "Honestly, you need to calm down, nothing's happened." "Dude chill, don't be so mad!" GAHAAHHHH just because I react to things with emotions doesn't mean I'm mad!! THAT's the easiest way of making me mad. I read somewhere that a bit like transgendered people, bilingual kids end up "choosing" which language and culture they feel is their "one and actual" way of life. And I've felt for a long long time now that this is not my home and one and actual way of living... well, I just have to be here for 5½ months, then I'm off to Mexico and in two years when I finish high school I'm off to explore the world. I need new languages, cultures, people, everything. My worst fear is being stuck here for the rest of my life.
:) oh well. It happens. Anyway, I realized I never made a post about Hong Kong!!! So here goes, I hope you like travel photos as much as I do...
the skyscrapers reached... well, the sky!!
The view at Victoria Peak was amazing... reminded me of Marseille (= ♥♥)
LOOK at the city view!!!!
there's the essence of bad and good.. and vice versa :)
we went to see a huge Buddha...
...with these!!
that's me (hahaha the climate ruined my hair :D:d)
me & my sister Sofia ♥
I dipped my toes into the Pacific Ocean ♥ felt incredibleHong Kong was absolutely AMAZING, and it was a great last trip before México, since I doubt I'll go anywhere before I leave in August... after all, summer's my last chance to be with my friends & family :) can't believe it though - summer '09 India, summer '10 Interrail, autumn '10 Rome, spring '11 Hong Kong & '11-'12 México :) gotta love it.
25/02/2011
in all of time
I know these memes are supposed to be daily, but after today I reeeeeally feel like writing this right now, so here goes !
Day 1: Introduce yourself
Well, that's easy.. uhm, my name is Minea, I am 16, I study in high school and I play american football weekly. But that's not quite enough, is it? As a person I am optimistic and carefree andand I'm having problems summing myself up to a few words :D I guess there's really no point of starting to explain my whole personality right here, so I guess I'll just say that find out if interested !
Day 02 - Your first love
See that's the thing, I don't think I've never been in love, or actually I don't want to consider anything from my past to be even close to "love". So the touching, heart-stealing, stomache-aching love is still yet to come. But it's OK, there's no rush.
Day 03 - Your parents
My mom is Finnish and my dad is Italian, and they both have a hard time understanding what it means to let a child grow up. I am the youngest so I guess they always see me as their littlest girl. In one hand, it's good - I can do basically anything I want, but I've gotta pay the price of being sometimes treated like a little baby of 5 and not a premature almost-adult-whatever kind of girl.
Day 04 – What you ate today
Bread. For breakfast and supper. Hmm, didn't even realize.
Day 05 – Your definition of love
:D uhm I don't think a feeling that strong can be defined in any specific way. "You don't spell it, you feel it", I guess.
Day 06 – Your dreams
Mexico. That's all I want.
Day 07 – Your best friend
See that's the thing, I don't have a best friend! There are people I love spending time with and party with them and talk with them and giggle with them, but not many people come closer. I have people I've known for a long time and they know me in more ways, but since I'm still learning who I am, letting other people inside my life in the most intimate of ways is harder. So I guess "my best friend" is a flexible concept for me.
Day 08 – A moment
Day 09 – Your beliefs
Hmm. I like to believe in the goodness of people.
Day 10 – Your siblings
Day 11 – What you wore today
Day 12 – What’s in your bag
Everything incredibly random, lip balm that I've worn out, pens that won't work, notes we've passed during classes, junk from my pencil sharpener, books, notebooks, gum... I wouldn't be surprised to find a used toothbrush or something from there one day...
Day 13 – This week
(sources)
Day 14 – Somewhere you’ve always wanted to go
barcelona, spain
indonesia
brazil
mexico
Day 15 – Your day
Day 16 – Your favourite movies
Day 17 – Your favorite memory
Ohhh but there are so many of them !
Day 18 – Your favorite birthday
Haha, I've loved absolutely all of them.
Day 20 – This month
Day 21 – Another moment
Day 24 – Something that makes you cry
This one's too hard to explain. India 2009, my first... whatever it was and... oh gosh.
Day 25 – A first
first time on a cruise with no parents !
Day 26 - Your fears
Day 27 – Your favorite place
rome = home Day 28 – Something that you miss
Day 29 – Your aspirations
Mexico. That's all I need.
Day 30 – One last moment
light up, light up
as if you have a choice
(
(image sources i do not own)
Day 1: Introduce yourself
Well, that's easy.. uhm, my name is Minea, I am 16, I study in high school and I play american football weekly. But that's not quite enough, is it? As a person I am optimistic and carefree andand I'm having problems summing myself up to a few words :D I guess there's really no point of starting to explain my whole personality right here, so I guess I'll just say that find out if interested !
Day 02 - Your first love
See that's the thing, I don't think I've never been in love, or actually I don't want to consider anything from my past to be even close to "love". So the touching, heart-stealing, stomache-aching love is still yet to come. But it's OK, there's no rush.
Day 03 - Your parents
My mom is Finnish and my dad is Italian, and they both have a hard time understanding what it means to let a child grow up. I am the youngest so I guess they always see me as their littlest girl. In one hand, it's good - I can do basically anything I want, but I've gotta pay the price of being sometimes treated like a little baby of 5 and not a premature almost-adult-whatever kind of girl.
Day 04 – What you ate today
Bread. For breakfast and supper. Hmm, didn't even realize.
Day 05 – Your definition of love
:D uhm I don't think a feeling that strong can be defined in any specific way. "You don't spell it, you feel it", I guess.
Day 06 – Your dreams
Mexico. That's all I want.
Day 07 – Your best friend
See that's the thing, I don't have a best friend! There are people I love spending time with and party with them and talk with them and giggle with them, but not many people come closer. I have people I've known for a long time and they know me in more ways, but since I'm still learning who I am, letting other people inside my life in the most intimate of ways is harder. So I guess "my best friend" is a flexible concept for me.
Day 08 – A moment
Day 09 – Your beliefsHmm. I like to believe in the goodness of people.
Day 10 – Your siblings
Day 11 – What you wore today
Day 12 – What’s in your bag
Everything incredibly random, lip balm that I've worn out, pens that won't work, notes we've passed during classes, junk from my pencil sharpener, books, notebooks, gum... I wouldn't be surprised to find a used toothbrush or something from there one day...
Day 13 – This week
(sources)Day 14 – Somewhere you’ve always wanted to go
barcelona, spain
indonesia
brazil
mexico
Day 16 – Your favourite movies
Day 17 – Your favorite memory
Ohhh but there are so many of them !
Day 18 – Your favorite birthday
Haha, I've loved absolutely all of them.
Day 20 – This month
Day 21 – Another moment
Day 24 – Something that makes you cry
This one's too hard to explain. India 2009, my first... whatever it was and... oh gosh.Day 25 – A first
first time on a cruise with no parents !Day 26 - Your fears
Day 27 – Your favorite place
rome = home 
Day 29 – Your aspirationsMexico. That's all I need.
Day 30 – One last moment
light up, light up
as if you have a choice
(
(image sources i do not own)
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