i'm thinking about going next year to exchange somewhere, but I'm afraid of losing the life I have now... what should I do?
This question wasn't really directed to me, but it got me thinking (and I know there are many people thinking about the same things, so I wanted to write about it..). Plus it's something that's been a lot on my mind as the weeks pass by.
It's a fact that, atleast to me, these are the important years. In these years we experience, we feel everything 'till the last drop, we figure out what we like to do, who we want to keep close, and most importantly who we are. Things can change so much in just one day, what about an entire year? The thought can be really frightening, but in reality, when you look at your life as a whole, one year won't make it crash. Leaving friends &family behind is hard, but you've just got to keep your head high and try to find new friends from the new country, get introduced to new habits and customs and learn new ways to see the world. You get whole new eyes to view the world with, so odds are YOU will change the most in that year. And when you go back, of course it's a new situation (i.e. when I come back, my sister's moved away, it's just me and my folks at home then --), but the fear comes when it comes. New relationships are formed everyday, and it doesn't make the old ones any less important. My tip would be that when leaving, try to make the most of the relationships you have there. The ones you leave behind have probably been there for a long long time already, but you only get one shot, one year to spend it with the new people in THEIR important years.
But I also want to say that try to experience as much here as you can. Don't leave anything hanging or that you'd have to say "what if" when you leave. I know a girl who didn't want to start anything serious with her crush because she was leaving to Japan in March... well, you can imagine what happened. That really scared the shit out of me. Anything can happen. ANYTHING. I'd hate to think that this last year here would be spent on worrying and being cautious and avoiding the pain of leaving. Come on, to me, it would seem like another year gone. So that's why I say that don't think about the pain before it's really there. I got together with my boyfriend in March, just 5 months before I leave, but I wouldn't have wanted this time here to go any other way. I know it's going to hurt to leave him, my family, my best friends, absolutely every important person of my current life behind, but I'm ready. It's going to be worth it. So who ever you are reading this post, just 1) don't be afraid, 2) make the most out of all the years of your life, 3) live your life when you have it. Tomorrow is a mistery, yesterday is history. So all you can do is carpe the heck out of this diem.
I wanted to share some of my favorite moments of this year here. I'm going to miss these moments, but most of all, I'm incredibly happy that I got to experience them.
interrail summer 2010
me, my sister & my cousin in Rome fall 2010
me & my team member of Protu 2010
my friend's party in May
graduation party in June
casual hanging with honeybunnies from school
the open doors of my high school in January
me with my sisters in Hong Kong in February
the cruise of a lifetime in January
... don't have words for this
I'm superhappy that whatever happens, happens. And atleast I have my memories and know that there will be many more to come. The great friends last a lifetime, and that's why leaving is not that hard. Plus, there's always the coming back home :) so just be brave and yourself and things will trun out for the best. love you x
xox Minea
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