and that's a good enough start

(I don't think it's smart to leave that as my latest post for long)

So.. yeah. I admit that leaving absolutely everything for a year is nothing easy. I think you can't even imagine it if you've never experienced it (then again I think there's nothing you can.. but you know what I mean). I mean, I miss the strangest things - walking home in the city lights, buying too expensive ice cream, sitting in a far away train. It's weird. Seriously.

But you know what? I know that I don't want to waste time thinking "oh I wish I was at home, I wish I could see this person, I wish I had this item hidden in the dark corners of my room" etc etc. ¿Para qué? For what? It's not gonna help. If I want to (and I know I don't.....), I have all my life in Finland, all the time I want to spend in the city lights, or wherever. But I think I've got to realize that this is my one year, one shot, and as much as it might be difficult, at the same time it's so incredibly rewarding, that I just loose all my words.

I mean - not many people get to swim in a lake in the Oaxacan mountains with two dogs, see Nortec live in a bar, get 40 pesos of tips at my dad's restaurant, realize that existir = amar, lose weight without even knowing, eat a tlayuda for breakfeast (I've gotta make a food post soon.....), and most importantly, feel A PART OF SOMETHING.

The coolest thing nobody's probably ever said to me is "you're just like one of us". Just like that. I've lived all my life in one side of the world, and yet, when I get to the other side, all the beauty's still there. Of life and the world and... everything. I think I need this year. I need to go through this stuff, to never again repent the questions I asked earlier. I need to realize that I might need to fight for my happiness a bit harder than before, but it's a fight I'll never quit. And that no matter what happens, no matter who I meet, this is it. This moment. Nothing else matters. THIS MOMENT. Carpe diem and stuff like that hehehehe...

So, yes, I still agree with my words that say that this is the hardest year of my life so far. But at the same time it's the most rewarding. No doubt. And I can't imagine giving up now. I'm so close to a breakthrough and finally growing UP, that I'm not gonna let anything ruin it.

So here goes. Don't let that other post scare you. You wanna go on exchange, DO IT. Or can you imagine a cooler thing you could do at your 17´s????????