LAST CHANCE !!!!!

Hiyaaa ! So since the departure is getting closer everyday, I thought it might be a good idea to start thinking about what clothes I want to take with me - but more importantly, to choose the ones I want to sell tomorrow at the flee market. (I have to be there at SEVEN THIRTY tops, how much torture is that????) I've been tossing clothes all year long into random bins and tomorrow it's time to get rid of them, finally. It's my second time selling clothes, don't know how I always end up throwing so many of them into re-sell, but now it completely emptied my closet... since they said that a good amount of clothes is ~10kg, and you should really only take clothes that you're actually going to use, so why should I leave a bunch of clothes for a year into my closet for nothing? I doubt I'll wear them when I come back if I never do it now. So let's be ecological and put them into use again yay !

It was kinda therapeutical to go through old clothes and all the memories that come with them (and to remember how much bigger I actually was before...), so I thought I'd share some here. I recommend everyone who wants to go to exchange to do the same, just go through everything and REALLY think: Am I going to use this? (Plus it's a good way to get some extra money that will surely be needed !) So, here goes, some clothes that I'll be selling tomorrow, if interested=)

two dresses I've never worn. the purple one is from France, I loved it, but

then I never got the chance to use it there, and never have afterwards.

Right one is from here, H&M I think.

this used to be my favorite skirt. notice the sexy red stitch in the front

from trying to make it a bit more fitting ;)))))))

I bought this dress from Italy in the summer of 2009 in a rush, and it was really easy to use in India because it was light and.. windy, I guess :D but

here I've never really used it.

I bought this from France while I was interrailing in the summer of '10,

and I loved it and still do, but it's a bit tricky to use and doesn't really

look that good on me&&my bodytype. :(

this used to be my sister's, but she gave it to me. It's cute, but I think

someone else will like it a bit more than I do now :)

I lovelove this shirt, it's so perky and adorable, but again, I just don't use it anymore. I wish I did, but you know, styles change while people change!

and THIS is what my closet looked afterwards! Even with the phases of not buying clothes or whatever, it has never been this empty. NEVER. Wowwies.

// ok this sale was a huge flop :DD I only made about 25 euros if I take away the table's price from the full price :DDDD so much for making more money ajajajaja

FAMILIAFAMILIAFAMILIAFAMILIAFAMILIA

YESSSSS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was with my boyfriend when I got a call from my mom, I thought it was just the normal "where are you will you eat at home" but instead she said I GOT MY HOST FAMILY INFORMATION !!!!!!!!!!! I ran to the nearest computer and THERE IT WAS !!!!!

I'm so excited my hands just shake and I can't believe I am one step closer to México !! My family lives in Oaxaca which is a state in South-West México which means it's HOT and HUMID and hghsgghgs !!!! It's close to historical mountains and the Pacific Ocean :)) COULD THIS BE ANY MORE PERFECT HONESTLY

It's a state full of history and native mexicans (?? :D) andadnnaddd adhhfhdszjffhff I just can't believe this is true I've been singing dancing and JUMPING UP AND DOWN ALL DAY 'cause... wowokwoeiewo !!!!!! I got my host mom's e-mail so I'll send her something in Spanish tomorrow yippeeeeeeee ayayayayayy !! I looked at pictures of the city I'm going to which is called Juchitán de Zaragoza and it looks SO GORGEOUS filled with festivals and street markets and I looked up my home street and it's next to a lake and JDSAJFDHSAHJH honestly !! This is one of the first big steps that brings me so much closer to México... 38 DAYS TO GO !!!

I have a mom, a dad, about the same age as my own parents, and THREE OLDER BROTHERS and a sister who's 2 years older than me AND A DOG !!! I've wanted a god all my life :D:ddd and how ironic, I'm the youngest here and will be the youngest there too ! But now I can't sit still I'm just sjfkasjsfjsaj all the time and I CAN'T WAIT ANYMORE !!!!!!!!!!! I feel so awesome♥

But the best part is:

LOOK AT THE TEMPERATURE AND EVERYTHINGGGGGGGGG HAHGDGAGGDDDD I can't wait, I can't sit still anymore. México, HERE I COME, wait for 38 days and here I come !!!!!

This was kinda messy, but who cares !! :):)) I love it soso much ! JSJADHDJHDHDHD

xx Minea

tell me that you'll open your eyes

i'm thinking about going next year to exchange somewhere, but I'm afraid of losing the life I have now... what should I do?

This question wasn't really directed to me, but it got me thinking (and I know there are many people thinking about the same things, so I wanted to write about it..). Plus it's something that's been a lot on my mind as the weeks pass by.

It's a fact that, atleast to me, these are the important years. In these years we experience, we feel everything 'till the last drop, we figure out what we like to do, who we want to keep close, and most importantly who we are. Things can change so much in just one day, what about an entire year? The thought can be really frightening, but in reality, when you look at your life as a whole, one year won't make it crash. Leaving friends &family behind is hard, but you've just got to keep your head high and try to find new friends from the new country, get introduced to new habits and customs and learn new ways to see the world. You get whole new eyes to view the world with, so odds are YOU will change the most in that year. And when you go back, of course it's a new situation (i.e. when I come back, my sister's moved away, it's just me and my folks at home then --), but the fear comes when it comes. New relationships are formed everyday, and it doesn't make the old ones any less important. My tip would be that when leaving, try to make the most of the relationships you have there. The ones you leave behind have probably been there for a long long time already, but you only get one shot, one year to spend it with the new people in THEIR important years.

But I also want to say that try to experience as much here as you can. Don't leave anything hanging or that you'd have to say "what if" when you leave. I know a girl who didn't want to start anything serious with her crush because she was leaving to Japan in March... well, you can imagine what happened. That really scared the shit out of me. Anything can happen. ANYTHING. I'd hate to think that this last year here would be spent on worrying and being cautious and avoiding the pain of leaving. Come on, to me, it would seem like another year gone. So that's why I say that don't think about the pain before it's really there. I got together with my boyfriend in March, just 5 months before I leave, but I wouldn't have wanted this time here to go any other way. I know it's going to hurt to leave him, my family, my best friends, absolutely every important person of my current life behind, but I'm ready. It's going to be worth it. So who ever you are reading this post, just 1) don't be afraid, 2) make the most out of all the years of your life, 3) live your life when you have it. Tomorrow is a mistery, yesterday is history. So all you can do is carpe the heck out of this diem.

I wanted to share some of my favorite moments of this year here. I'm going to miss these moments, but most of all, I'm incredibly happy that I got to experience them.

interrail summer 2010

me, my sister & my cousin in Rome fall 2010

me & my team member of Protu 2010

my friend's party in May

graduation party in June

casual hanging with honeybunnies from school

the open doors of my high school in January

me with my sisters in Hong Kong in February

the cruise of a lifetime in January

... don't have words for this

I'm superhappy that whatever happens, happens. And atleast I have my memories and know that there will be many more to come. The great friends last a lifetime, and that's why leaving is not that hard. Plus, there's always the coming back home :) so just be brave and yourself and things will trun out for the best. love you x

xox Minea

!!!!!!

I mentioned I'm trying to grow my sidecut, right? Well, my friends gave me the best idea ever - if I just toss my hair to the other side of my head and cut my bangs a bit differently, ta-dah, it becomes invisible !!! (or it shows a little bit and of course it seems like I have a lot less hair on the other side but whatever, almost :D) I'm just so happy that I look.. more normal now, it makes me so much less afraid of not fitting in when I finally get to México. This doesn't change who I am, so frankly I'm happy to do anything that makes me more comftrable and relaxed and focused on other things. :)

7 weeks & 1 day. I don't believe that 7 weeks ago it was May, and suddenly that's all the time I have left ! I just gotta try to make this the best summer ever, so I can leave with a whole bunch of memories and happiness ! :) México, you better be ready 'cause here I come !!!!

decisions, decisions

ksdjsfhhashkjgh 9 WEEKS LEFT. So, I had to make a few decisions.

1) My labret fell of in Belgium, and first I was pretty bummed out since I knew I couldn't find a new one before the trip ended, but eventually I started thinking that I honestly look a lot better without it :D and I guess it was just something I needed at the time I took it, now it just didn't felt like a part of me anymore, so actually I was pretty relieved.



2) I stopped shortening my sidecut and I'm gonna let it grow. The odds are that it won't grow back much during summertime (even though the sun and vitamin D are supposed to encrease hair growth), but if the hair on my head is just short, rather than really really short, I think it'll... well... help me blend in more. So we'll see what it looks like at the end of the summer. This is one decision I wish I would've made a lot earlier.

I kinda doubt it will grow back that much.......

So I made these decisions concerning my looks just so it would be easier to fit in. Growing up here I'm used to having more freedom to do stuff, change my looks, wear any type of clothes etc., but I know México is a more conservative country, and I'm a bit afraid that if I end up in an area in a small town or somewhere where people just aren't used to people who look like me, well... I just feel more comftrable going there and looking more natural. I'm not saying that I couldn't fit in as I am, but since I don't know that much about Mexican attitudes or culture ways, I think just looking more natural and "normal" makes me more confident about myself. I don't really mind, I already gave up vegetarianism for this, and after that, no sacrifice feels too much for me.

I just want this year to go as good and easy as possible. So I'm willing to do whatever it takes now so I'll be good and prepared. :) what are you guys up to?

Minea xx

...

Taidan loukata ihmisiä tahtomattani, kun puhun mun omista juurista. Viime postaukseen tuli pari kommenttia, joista haluan puhua.

"Välillä vaikuttaa siltä, kuin pitäisit suomalaisia ihmisiä huonompina vain siksi, koska he ovat _suomalaisia_. -- on hassua, että joku siitä huolimatta tuomitsee toisia semmoisen perusteella."

Okei, ihan ensimmäiseksi - anteeksi jos loukkasin jotakuta, mutta mua vähän turhauttaa, miksi ihmiset luulevat mun puhuvan heistä yksilöinä, jos puhun yleisellä tasolla. Sitäpaitsi mä en ikinä tuomitse tai tuomitsisi jotakuta kansalaisuuden perusteella - noista kommenteista huomaa vaan ettei niiden kirjoittajat oikeasti tunne mua. En mä tarkoita, etteikö suomalaisuudesta saisi olla ylpeä tai ettei tästä maasta saisi pitää, jos sanon, etten ITSE viihdy täällä. Siis mähän sanoin: "but then so many things are pushing me more and more away from Finland (not fitting in, cultural differences, temperament)" ja "i wish I could keep the people I have now, but in some place else" -- missä vaiheessa mä sanoin, ettei kukaan muu saisi viihtyä täällä? Voisiko joku etsiä ne kohdat, missä dissaan kaikkia suomalaisia tai suomalaista kulttuuria. Jos en itse viihdy jossain ei tarkoita, että olisin sanonut ettei kukaan muukaan saisi. Älkää käsittäkö mua väärin, en mä tarkoita sanojani pahalla.

Mä en myöskään ymmärrä, että jos mä sanoin että mulla on paljon suomalaisia kavereita (luonnollisesti), "in reality there are so many things in my life that I want to keep close to me (friends, freedom, boyfriend)", miksi pitäisin suomalaisia jotenkin huonompina. Mä en missään vaiheessa sanonut, että suomalaiset olisivat muiden alapuolella, huonompia ihmisiä yadada, siksi toivon että nyt ymmärrätte mitä hain takaa. Mulla on oikeus puhua mun blogissani siitä, etten viihdy mun nykyisessä asunmaassani, ihan niin kuin teilläkin on oikeus sanoa mulle, jos loukkaan tahtomattani. Mä en vaan ymmärrä, miksi jotenkin tosi monet tuntuvat ottavan sen niin henkilökohtaisesti, jos sanon etten tunne olevani suomalainen.

No niin. En mä tahdo loukata ketään enkä pidä itteäni ylempiarvoisena, päinvastoin. Ihmiset on erilaisia. Mä en dissaa ketään, joka iloitsee Suomen MM-kullan voitosta, jos muakaan ei dissaa kukaan siitä, etten mene Kauppatorille juhlistamaan sitä. Ihmiset on mitä on enkä näe, että luonne olisi kansalaisuudesta riippuvainen asia. Jos te ajattelette eri tavalla, niin ajatelkaa. En mä pakota ketään mun blogia lukemaan.

(tää ulkonäkö sekoilee mun koneen takii koittakaa kestää)

everytime we hear the whole word passing by i know that we're not crazy

(via Sara)

we spend all our time lying side by side
going nowhere, it's really something
gettin' busy doing nothing

We spend all our time running for our lives
going nowhere, it's really something
gettin' busy doing nothing

It's been a while that I actually wrote something here, so let's give it a shot!

A few weeks ago I had the first orientation of AFS about the exchange year, and ksdsfjkjsd it was so exciting !!!!!! after it I just felt like dying because I still have so many days (89) left here. It feels like too many mornings are still remanining, like too many days are left before I can just pick up everything and go. It's so funny, 'cause in reality there are so many things in my life that I want to keep close to me (friends, freedom, boyfriend), but then so many things are pushing me more and more away from Finland (not fitting in, cultural differences, temperament) so.. I wish I could keep the people I have now, but in some place else, but I guess I've just got to keep my head high and continue along the road and try to find new people and new adventures. :) I've been talking a lot with my boyfriend about this and it feels so weird that his life will continue the same, minus me.. it's the same thing in all my relationships. They still go to school or work, go partying in the weekends, shop at the centre and eat ice cream when it's warm. They talk about the same(?) things and laugh in the same way and are as close as ever, just without me.

But you know what, fuck it ! It's a sacrifice I know I'll have to make and that I truly am ready to make. I've been thinking about my exchange year, new experiences, new language and all new way of living since I was... oh god, 13? And I made a promise to myself, no matter what happens, I'm not giving it all away. Everything I have here is enough for me now, but I still want more, I want to see what I can do and what I can handle and who I can meet and... my thoughts are a pretty big mess now, I know I just want to _leave____already. Get me outta here please!!!!

Maybe I'm a bit too dramatic :D honestly, I love my life, I love my friends, I love my school, I love my family, I love my boyfriend (♥). I make it here. But I want more. I want to meet people who aren't afraid of touching and letting people in, I wanna be happy when the country I live in wins in a sport, I want to live somewhere and be proud of it... to me it's such a weird thought to be proud of being Finnish. There's not one Finnish bone in my body, This culture, this country is simply not for me. So I want (need) to find out what is. What's there waiting. What will I find. So we'll see how everything goes ;)

- Minea

weekends in bed, no scramble eggs, or bacon
i just have time for you
backs on the grass, heads in the clouds, we closed our eyes
enjoy the view